WEST HAM’S £40M IVAN TONEY BID LEAKED IN SHOCKING DOCUMENTS – BUT NOW THE HAMMERS ARE SECRETLY PLOTTING A BRAZILIAN RAID THAT WILL MAKE PREMIER LEAGUE RIVALS TREMBLE! You Won’t Believe Who They’re Targeting Next…
Like many others, I was enjoying a quiet evening when my phone suddenly lit up with a barrage of West Ham–themed WhatsApp messages.
“Mate, what’s this about a £40m bid for Toney?”
That was the first message — and the one that nearly made me choke on my ninth Quality Street. Unfortunately, it wasn’t the only one.
Moments later came another: “Are we actually selling Callum Wilson?”
Then, as if things weren’t ridiculous enough: “Bro, is that Summerville-to-PSG rumour legit?”
At that point I gave up trying to pay attention to my partner — who was glued to a show involving celebrities I barely know (other than Martin Kemp) eating horrific things in the jungle — and decided to look into the chaos.
I contacted C&H’s usual transfer insider, who, amusingly, was also watching Z-list celebrities drink crocodile testicle smoothies. I asked whether any of these wild claims had any basis.
The reply came back quickly: a bit of profanity, a jab about whether it was April Fools’ Day, and then:
“They can’t afford Ivan Toney, Summerville isn’t PSG level, and like I said… West Ham are focused on the South American market.”
And that was the end of that.
The real story — a Football Manager fantasy
Still intrigued, I investigated further — and uncovered something stranger than the rumours themselves.
It turned out London World had used a football simulation game to predict West Ham’s January business.
Nothing wrong with that… except the headlines didn’t make it clear the “news” was generated by a game.
They published pieces such as:
“West Ham sign former Newcastle forward as shock PSG loan deal agreed in January prediction”
Then:
“West Ham sign former Newcastle United forward in blockbuster £40m deal”
And finally the masterpiece:
“Ivan Toney: signed from Al-Ahli for £40m.”
Google, failing to distinguish a Football Manager experiment from actual reporting, indexed the stories as legitimate transfer updates.
To be fair, I wouldn’t complain if West Ham really did land Ivan Toney — the man guarantees goals. But the whole situation was either a deliberate stunt or a massive misunderstanding.
The benefit? I avoided having to watch I’m a Celebrity.
The downside? It highlights how over-the-top and misleading online “news” can be nowadays.
A reminder to stay sceptical
This weekend alone we also saw claims that Jarrod Bowen was set to leave West Ham and that Nuno Espírito Santo was on the brink of being sacked — further proof that transfer rumours often need more than a pinch of salt.
